so it is late

I really need to be in bed. Work comes early in the morning. I started this blog after my sister in law sent me an invite to her blog. I thought this would be a good way for me to express how I feel. Even if no one reads..I think it will help me through this pregnancy.
I wish someone knew just a little bit of what I am going through. I have heard of postpartum depression but I believe I am having it all now. Every nerve is on end. While pregnant with the two boys the pregnancy was great. No morning sickness, nothing. I mean perfect up until labor. The labor was just intense but that is all. When I found out I was pregnant in August 2007, I immediately knew something was wrong. I miscarried two days after that. Then we found out very early in this pregnancy too. I mean from day one everything has been "different". I try to explain how I feel but no one understands. I have researched a couple of things online and some say once you have had a miscarriage you go through depression with your next pregnancy. That is kinda how I feel. It is hard...I mean everynight I dream very depressing dreams and every minute of the day I wonder if everything is going to be ok. With the boys I prayed that they would be healthy but with this one I am always wondering if they are still alive in there or not. It is really hard to explain and I am not sure if anyone will understand.
Well the little one is ready for bed .. I will finish up later.